God, what has she done? Chappell Roan says parents are 'in hell' and sparks some tough talks | CBC News (2025)

Natalie Stechyson · CBC News

· Posted: Apr 01, 2025 2:05 PM EDT | Last Updated: 6 hours ago

It's always nice to get some outside validation, right?

At least, that's how somepeople are reacting after pop superstar Chappell Roan recently said parents seem pretty miserable — "in hell," actually.

Roan's hot take, which she madeon Alex Cooper's Call Her Daddy podcast last week, have somestressed parents saying they feel seen, or, to quote a commenter on the podcast's TikTok post, "Finally someone is speaking my language."

Of course, she'salso angered a lot of parents online, where some are rebutting thatmotherhood has been their greatest joy, or that, as one person wrote in the podcast's TikTok comments, "When you do it from a source of love, it's not hard at all."

Either way, people have opinions, and the controversy has sparked some tough conversations about modern parenting.

Grammy-winning best new artist Roan — who has skyrocketed to fame with hits like Good Luck, Babe!, Red Wine Supernova, Hot To Go!and Pink Pony Club — was answering a questionabout her friends back home in the March 26 podcast episode when the conversation turned to parenting.

Host Alex Cooper asked Roan, 27, if she was still close with her friends. Roan answered yes, but added that most of them are now married with kids. When asked if she wanted that for herself, Roan, who isopenly queer,pondered if it would even still be legal that point, likely a nod to U.S. President Donald Trump's conservative agenda.

But then, the singer added, "All of my friends who have kids are in hell."

"I actually don't know anyone who is like happy, and has children, at this age. Anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept."

Modern parents are really stressed

OK, ouch. But also, as manyare asking: is she wrong?

The recognition that having children is increasingly costly, time-consuming and stressful wasreflected in a recentpublic health advisoryissued by the U.S. surgeon general. Last August, Dr. Vivek Murthywarned about theimpact ofmodern stresseson parents' mental health, saying today's parents face unique challenges, such asthe rising cost of living, social mediaand the youth mental health crisis.

In fact, modern parenting has become so intense that researchers now havea term for it: theintensification of parenting.As examples, data shows parents today spendmore time with their childrenthan in previous generations, and the predominantmodern parenting stylecentres on acknowledging a child's feelings — leavingmany parents feeling burnedout.

Children's sports aremore competitiveand demanding, and child care has become so coveted that parents are making daycare depositsin their first trimester andbooking summer camps in January.

WATCH | Sharing the stories of 'regretful' mothers:

Roan's comments also come at a time where a growing number of parents aresharing their complex feelings about parenting.

"You have to be 100 per cent sure that that is what you want to do," Calgary momTanya Ryan told CBC's The Current in February.

"And it's not necessarily going to be that you just look in your baby's eyes and everything shifts and the world changes around you, because that's not everybody's experience."

Nothing to do with the kids

In the comments on TikTok, some have pointed out that if Roan's friends are also in their 20s, their children are likely quite young and at one of the most difficult ages to parent. Others have called her a "rich celebrity dissociated from the real world."

Others agreed with Roan, saying, "being a parent is hell," and that "halfthe people I know with kids are miserable, too."

"The people who have made me most scared to become a mother are mothers … I'm afraid that what Chappell said is all I see," said podcast host Recho Omondiin a TikTok video with 1.7 million views.

In another reaction video, singer and motherMaren Morris said she doesn't have any issue with Roan's comments, and that it ishard to be a parent, but also, "really hard to not be a parent and have that pushed on you all day every day, especially as a woman.Especiallyas a woman in an industry like music."

But the real issue, Morris said, isn't Roan's hot take, butwhy so many people feel like parenting is so miserable.

"I think the bigger conversation should maybe be about why this country makes people feel like this at all," she said.

WATCH | Is parenting really harder today?:

"Mothers are just so unsupported in this country," Morris said. "It doesn't support children once they're out of the womb. We don't have health care, we don't have child care."

And that's what so many others are saying online: that parenting is hell, but it's not because of the kids. Asparenting news site Scary Mommypoints out, it's the lack of systemic support for parents holding them back.

"So yes, maybe the mothers Chappell Roan knows are having a hard time," wrote Scary Mommy'sKatie McPherson."It will likely get easier when their kids aren't so young. But it also, really, has nothing to do with the children at all."

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